Since I've read this quote on twitter lately, I've come to think about that phrase very often. I'm not really living my life as if it were my last, I rather contemplate or imagine what if today is the day that I'm going to enter a different world. Meaning that yesterday was actually my last day on earth. We all know that we can't control that, this part of our lives. There are medications for sicknesses, examinations if you have cancer or not but there's nothing against accidents. You can be extra careful with what you do, where you go and with whom you are. Maybe being cautious extends your life, but you really don't know how your life will end. These past two or three months I've heard a lot of accidents where the person got killed, or died unexpectedly. I don't want to be in the shoes of these family members. I even find it hard, when an old person dies though this person must be very fortunate because it has at least lived an eventful and fullfilling life. But what about those who were just starting with their lives, with their OWN life, with their dreams and goals they wanted to reach. At the beginning people would say that this person hasn't reached so much, this person still had a journey to take ... but actually maybe her mission is already done and accomplished. The problem and the big questionmark to everyone actually is: What is my purpose on earth? Why am I here, why are these things happening to me? the big WHY and WHAT. I don't even know if this blog makes sense after all, or what my conclusion will be. But lately I've been thinking, what if, what if, our plane crashes, I don't know. Everytime this comes into my mind I'm getting scared I don't know what to think, I'd rather shrug off these ideas and start dreaming about something else. But even the what if's can make your life worse - though they are only what ifs.
It's not that I want to die or wish to die soon, it's actually the opposite. I'm excited what GOD has prepared for me, sometimes I want to forward my life and have a glimpse on my life to be, but then again, there's no thrill on that, no "sceletons in the closet" moments.
You just really don't know what will happen next. But for now I can tell that, even though I haven't been living a perfect life with perfect relationships with everyone, I'm glad that I am living my life right now. Everything will fall into place someday, somehow. Some are worth my presence, some not luckily. I'm happy where I am right now, I've been experiencing a lot, more the goods than the bads. And I guess everyone has thought about this topic already. So do I, that's why I accept everything that will come my way. As our priest once said - your own challenge is the "crisis in life" you've always avoided from the start - Amen! Face your fears!
And I actually wanted to create a bucket list, a list where there are certain things written down that I have to do before I die, or before I reach a certain age. But what happens if I do everything that is written down? That is what I am scared of. Maybe I won't turn 30 if I don't go to Hawaii for vacation, or something else. Let's see if I am brave enough for a "To-do-list-before-I-breathe-for-the-last-time". .. good night for now
It's not that I want to die or wish to die soon, it's actually the opposite. I'm excited what GOD has prepared for me, sometimes I want to forward my life and have a glimpse on my life to be, but then again, there's no thrill on that, no "sceletons in the closet" moments.
You just really don't know what will happen next. But for now I can tell that, even though I haven't been living a perfect life with perfect relationships with everyone, I'm glad that I am living my life right now. Everything will fall into place someday, somehow. Some are worth my presence, some not luckily. I'm happy where I am right now, I've been experiencing a lot, more the goods than the bads. And I guess everyone has thought about this topic already. So do I, that's why I accept everything that will come my way. As our priest once said - your own challenge is the "crisis in life" you've always avoided from the start - Amen! Face your fears!
And I actually wanted to create a bucket list, a list where there are certain things written down that I have to do before I die, or before I reach a certain age. But what happens if I do everything that is written down? That is what I am scared of. Maybe I won't turn 30 if I don't go to Hawaii for vacation, or something else. Let's see if I am brave enough for a "To-do-list-before-I-breathe-for-the-last-time". .. good night for now
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